1. |
An Unkindness
02:05
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mama said, “pack your things”
and so I did.
“there’s no room here child,
for a selfish little shit.”
yeah, I said -
“heaven sent; Well,
that’s no fun.”
i am looking for my father
or i’m looking for god.
So i dug and i dug,
til dirt didn’t bother me.
til I drowned myself in a sea of,
complacency.
and i stared and i stared,
at those beige colored walls.
then i pulled all my teeth out,
from the setting of the jaw.
and i drank and i drank,
until i felt too bothered.
then i bathed in gasoline,
and set my skin on fire.
i ran to hurley,
laid out like a dog.
and begged him for his love
or - at least to put me out.
just let me in.
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2. |
The Illusive Man
03:54
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sunday night and you wouldn't believe the things they said about you.
would it stay the same?
if you had managed to stay?
old dogs die the same.
but bear swears you'd change.
that you'd change.
would you change, for me?
you'd given up on the better things.
you had started settling.
you'd given up on the better things.
you had started settling. fuck settling.
now I sit surrounded by the ones that you had loved.
lori's here, deb is here, kel is here, your mom is here.
they say that the angels of mercy have come.
but all I feel is coldness here.
all I fear has followed here.
you'd given up on the better things.
i can't tell you what that did to me.
and for what.
well, for what brian?
huh, well for what?
oh, for what?
a weeks worth of pay.
a drive to start a sober slate.
a woman, who could say,
"i love you i need you"
your blood fills my lungs.
you said you wanted to live.
well did you?
well did you?
i'll never forget -
shooting that gun in the dirt.
and the way that dove felt
as its body turned cold.
how do I tell my mother
that her brother is dead?
"tell them how you feel matt"
well, I feel like shit.
baby brother. little bother.
it was for something. or my life means nothing.
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3. |
Bad Wine
02:29
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sutured in place. revised again.
hardly hanging. from the top of his head.
cast out to sea like an old man's ghost.
then forced to live off salt from his bones.
i suppose, i'll write the words that he should have said.
intertwined and reaching, for anything that he can.
the river has run dry. it will never lead him home.
it will never lead him home.
his hands can no longer lift the stones.
my hands can no longer lift these stones.
nothing but the sound of her voice.
he forgets to sing.
nothing but the sound of her wings.
i forget to breathe.
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4. |
Revengeance
03:06
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Want to know just what it says
And why it can't say it to me
Like a noise that they all have heard
Or a place that they all have been
Promised me my winds
Didn't promise me my wings
I sit and bide here waiting to fly
Promised me my winds
Didn't promise me my wings
I sit and bide here waiting to fly
I'll tread that broken ground.
And I hope it breaks my fucking feet.
Its lost, and its far gone.
Its lost, and its far gone.
They're all just lost.
They're all just heartstrung.
Why can't it say it to me?
Why can't it sing it to me?
Why can't it say it to me?
Why can't it sing it to me?
What can it say to me?
What can it say?
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5. |
Bloodletting
04:34
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A bank of a river I saw.
It was emptied I thought.
To build the roof and the walls of a home.
Its too bad, I'd rather drown alone.
From the glove of a car to my hand,
From my hand to my mouth I'll be damned.
And the burn seeks straight through my throat.
I'm sick, man. Yeah I know.
A lush, a drunk I am not.
I had dreams once my god.
So its bloom and burst along.
This is not, where I belong.
A bank of a river I saw.
It was northern I thought.
I wish I had written the words down.
Fucking hate the way my voice sounds.
So - I am not the catalyst?
Needed to end my own life,
I'm supposed to find,
someone to care like I can't?
I can't.
Like I could.
Well I would.
Like I could.
Well I can't.
Tough luck.
A lush, a drunk I am not.
I had dreams once my god.
So its bloom and burst along.
This is not, where I belong.
Do they make, coffins for men like me?
There's no worth. instead we're sent to sea.
Do they make, coffins for men like me?
There's no worth, instead we're sent to sea.
They don't make, coffins for men like me.
There's no worth. There's no weight - trust me.
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6. |
Riverside
04:30
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The sound of her voice breaking on the back of my neck.
And goddamn right I'll be getting mine.
We're just two kids trying to get high.
We're just two kids trying to get by.
To cadence and coffee.
Two empty voices talking.
Surrounded by lit cigarettes.
Alone together stalling.
Just sailing on.
Just lines in a song.
Oh god that's just too real.
Where will you go now you wayward wanderer?
Will you mend your pieces now you broken mirror?
Where will you man your battlements?
March in empty spaces?
Did you plead your coup de grace?
You stain of suffering.
Oh.
They'll bury two wooden homes.
To house a single sunk conscious.
Fighting off your demons.
To hold a single quivering flame.
To saints and sinners alike.
Blood run cold and heart gone vanilla.
Do you even pretend to believe?
A rear view mirror trust.
Did you paint your mouth with dust?
Home for sleep.
Or never-ender rust.
Pull your trigger.
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